Casual Dating to Serious Relationship

When should casual dating turn into something serious?

This is a question that will depend on a few key factors you will want to be aligned with before taking the plunge!

Casual dating can last anywhere from three to six months and shouldn't be any shorter than this. You really need to take the time to explore many things with your lover before you take things to the next level.

You may even find what you think is the perfect match due to being with someone who is good looking, having many things in common, friendly, honest, funny, but don't let these types of traits fool you of moving too fast in the relationship.

The key factors that I am referring to are morals, family values, personal/career goals, hobbies, and addictions. Morals:

Having morals that are aligned are a big thing since many of us have these ingrained from early on in childhood from our parents or the people who raised us. Being an honest person and meeting someone who lies, cheats, steals, and has no respect for others is not going to work well in the long term. Most of us have good morals and are good people, but you will want to make sure that many of these rules are aligned between the two of you before making a long term commitment with this person. Don't try to think that you can change someone from their morals cause it is very difficult to do and most do not succeed.

Family Values:

You are going to want to make sure that your lover has strong family values if you plan on having a family in the future. Having strong family values is important for a parent since kids need a parent to go to for support, guidance, and to have a sense of well being. You need to know that he or she is going to be around the majority of the time to help with things around the house and for spending time with the kids. Just saying that they love kids is not even close to what you goes on each and every day. In addition, do they get a long with your family and vice versa. Believe it or not, when you are married to this person, you are also married to their family. You may disagree with me on this, but I am always involved with my wife's family one way or another.

Personal/Career Goals:

Are your personal and career goals aligned to what your lovers are or are they similar? What if your lover is in a band and wants to tour the country while you are at home with the kids? This can be a problem if you are a doctor and are on call every night. What will happen to the kids if you receive a call from the hospital at 2 AM in the morning and your husband is on tour with the band. That could be very stressful! In addition, being supportive of each others goals and ambitions is also key to a long term serious relationship. People tend to grow a part if one person is not supportive of the others goals. If one person wants to go back to school and the other is concerned about the money, this could cause some friction for the relationship. Communication is really key here and you will want to keep the lines open at all times.

Hobbies:

Sometimes hobbies can interfere with relationships if they take over all of your free time so moderation is key for hobbies such as sports. A friend of mine had a husband that was in four baseball leagues and was barely ever home because of all of the leagues he was in. Unfortunately, things did not work out in the long run and they ended up getting a divorce so be careful. I am not saying to not date anyone who has hobbies since we all have them, but try to watch that your lover isn't consumed by them!

Addictions: There are many addictions out there such as drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, etc. that you are going to have to watch out for. Being with someone with an addiction can be detrimental to a relationship and really should be avoided unless you have the strength and endurance to work with someone on there addictions. Smoking may be something that isn't hard to deal with unless you are allergic or have asthma, but it is hard if you are not a smoker yourself! When it comes to many addictions, they are hard to break and the person with one needs to work hard to over come it if they want to get rid of the addiction. Bottom line, addictions get in the way of the relationship and it can make things very hard to deal with for the long term. Just be careful of these.

If you have been casual dating for awhile and you feel that things are aligned between the two of you by reviewing these key factors then it is time to take things to the next level. The goal of dating should always be to eventually turn serious so take time to ask yourself serious questions before getting too involved. You will be better for it in the long run!

Enjoy and have fun always!

Written by: Rod Claflin

Return from Casual Dating to Date For Love